To all of you, your kind thoughts and words mean so very much to me. I can't tell how appreciated they are. To set the record straight, RJ was diagnosed with lukemia and we had begun treating it. RJ initially had some complications from his appendectamy and and his blood count had to be strengthened to handle the cemo treatments. RJ developed a low oxygen intake, which was no big deal but the doctors wanted to watch it for fear of neumonia or bleeding in the lungs so he was temporarily moved to the ICU Saturday night.. All of these things were fairly normal in the battle with lukemia so we weren't too concerned. Things seemed to be going as expected when RJ's blood pressure spiked about 3:00 pm Sunday. They rushed him to get a cat-scan where it was found he had a brain hemorage and a surgeon was called in to perform surgery where he removed a clot from RJ's right frontal lobe and most of the frontal lobe. Things were touch and go at this point as RJ was not responsive from the hemorage. The Doctor said he was concerned but looked for him to be responsive as the swelling went down. I was sitting with him early Monday morning when he developed another clot and experienced a stroke. Much damage was done and he was still unresponsive. We as a family had an option to have the surgeon go back in and try to correct the damage but there was much more damage and there was a high likelyhood RJ wouldn't survive the procedure. And if he did, the extent of the damage would both severly limit him both mentally and physically. That's not to mention the problems RJ was having with his lungs, and the battle yet to be fought with lukemai. So as a family we had the ventilator removed and RJ could not sustain himself. That ocurred about 6:45 AM Monday with family and friends at his beside.I love him more than life and my candle has gone out.

RJ"s dad

Thank you for the clarification I am deeply sorry. I had two children wrestle for RJ and he was very special, I can't even pretend to understand what you are going through loosing a child. Just know you have a very large wrestling community here to support and help you any way we can!

Bob,

I can't even imagine what those last couple of days must have been like for you and your family. The thing I was struggling to understand was how R.J. went so quickly after the initial diagnosis. Knowing the kind of person he was, both physically and mentally, I just could not grasp how he could have possibly gone that fast.

Thank you for sharing that information with us.

Bob,

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time of loss. I know these are small words of comfort during your time of loss. It seems like a long time ago that I lost a brother, and not as long ago we lost a grandson. Regardless of the relationship, the pain of a loved one never fully goes away. I cannot imagine the pain that comes with the loss of a son. Parents are supposed to pass on before their children, aren't they? That's not for us to decide, fortunatly, but in our memory, loved ones live forever. Just words, and small words they are, but I know that they are true. Families are not necessarily determined or defined by blood. So please remember that RJ had a very, very large family that mourns his passing.

NWI, I know. I can't understand how he could have gone that quick also. It just seems so weird to me and the rest of the family... how could he not be here? It's something i continually search for answers when at the same time I know I willnever find them as long as I live.

Thanks again my friend NWI

RJ's dad

Guest 22 I can’t say that I knew R.J. well, but I feel compelled to tell you how much I have been moved by your posts here on huskermat. It is obvious that you and R.J. had a very special father son relationship. Your deep love for him is so transparent in your posts. I am sure that you were both blessed to have had this type of relationship. I simply can’t imagine what it would be like to lose one of my own children. Though I don’t know you, and did not know R.J. that well, my heart does ache for you. As others I will pray that God will comfort you.

Marty McCurdy

Guest 22,

I am a wrestling official and a softball umpire. Last night we had an upmpires meeting for the upcoming season. I was going to announce the benefit banquet at the end of the meeting, as there are a few umpires who also are wrestling officials. Before I had a chance, Bob Hawkinson (Omaha's Umpire and Chief), right at the begining of his presentation, said I'd like to take a moment to talk about someone from our local sports community who passed away this week. Then he went on to talk about how you and RJ and him used to umpire down at River City Sports Complex. He also told a story about a time where an over zealous player came up to RJ and told him he was going to kick his @#$@. I guess the players buddies asked him if he knew who RJ was, and once he found out he backed down without further confrontation. I umpired at River City for 10 years myself. I just wanted to tell you that so you knew that many people, not only from the wrestling community are thinking about him and his family.

I had the pleasure of knowing RJ for the past 23 years. I know that this is a very difficult time for you, however if you think about all of the positive things that RJ did for many, many people, it should bring you an overwhelming sense of pride. May God be with you and keep you during this time.

Sincerely,

John Patrick

I didnt know RJ except through his accomplishments and announcing the state tournament. Obviously through all these posts he was a great man. Please accept my deepest condolences to RJs family.

I am sorry the following is so long, once I started- it just went.


I had been checking Caring Bridge everyday-and woke my husband when I read that RJ was struggling...In the morning he was gone ??
Just days before I had been teasing Randy about RJ "havin his butt" for the post on Huskermat,first thing on "to do" list (then golf) when he was released, I dont think there was one person who thought RJ wouldnt be home again.
This is so surreal,crushing,our hearts broke for his family+friends..but I was also so angry as I read the update, I just cant believe someone so young and strong had to give his life so soon/ taken from so many? I cant grasp the "better place" thing yet and I'm not sure I will..He had all that right here with his wife and son. Mason..so young, his dads his buddy..How can anyone make this right with him?? with so many lacking fathers it's really hard to understand how/why Masons dad had to go. Theyre a young family,with a lot going for them,then in a flash it all flips? WHY is that??It's wrong that his wife as she deals with her own grief will have to try and answer questions that really have no answers for her son,a son so young she will have to work to keep his dads memory with him as he grows up, and thats really wrong because RJ was already doing a damn good job of that himself. I dont know Mary-but we knew RJ and did get to be around him+Mason together..He was a great father.
We wish for Mary every
strength,blessing,friend,and family she needs to get through, Our hearts are with you.
I am sorry for his siblings/their families,My brother passed in'99,he was the complete opposite of RJ,he lived hard and OD'd..but he was my "bro" and I loved him just the same. It'll be tough,really tough...But your memories and seeing RJ in Mason will help to get you through.
I cant even begin to imagine what his parents are going through, our children are not supposed to go before us,We hear it happens/we know it happens,but how do we deal with it when that reality is our lives??
If the questions,hurt(and anger)are so hard for people who only knew RJ, What his family is going through is an absolute hell. I hope they can find the strength..And if/when it seems to waiver-I hope someone is there to pick them up..God Bless you all.
I'm sorry this went on and on so I will close.... We want all of you to know we are so sorry for all that you and RJ have gone through recently and for what his family will have to try to live with and find a way to understand as your lives go on.

We'll keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
Again- We are so sorry for all.
God Bless,
Bill+Melani Shumaker and the boys

Thank You for your comments Sumom. They are greatly appreciated. You didn't ramble on, you just vented your frustration. Believe me, I understand.

RJ"s dad

I, too did not know RJ on a personal level, but what he symbolized for the sport of wrestling is second to none, and something I hold dearly to my heart. I do remember just a few weeks back, complimenting him for another outstanding job he did broadcasting the State Wrestling tournament. He was very modest in his reply, especially about the whole issue with this "mistake". I recall through all the things I have read about RJ---one caught my eye and sticks out in my mind: he could play the role of Dick Vitale of wrestling. I couldn't agree more. RJ had a great passion and love for the sport, a passion that many of us try to, but cannot duplicate. I know when I found out of his entry into a new life, my heart stopped for a moment. We, the Nebraska wrestling community, lost an ambassador for the sport.

God Bless, Matt Placek

Thank You plottydawg. RJ took his broadcasts very seriously, but got great pleasure out of doing them. He worked very hatd at doing them right.

Mr. Pin....RJ and I were umpire partners at River City and had a blast working the games together. As you know many funny stories come from umpiring softball games and he and I got many laughs remembering some of the funny stuff that happened long after we no longer umpired. I think he was the youngest umpire down there at the time and I thought it would be great training for him to learn to handle himself with grown men while he was just a teenager. I thought if he could control a game of men, some who even had too much to drink, it would be a super learning experience which would last him a life time. Which I did. He did have a few players threaten to be waiting in the parking lot which gave us great amusement. I once offered a player $20 if they could get just one punch in. We never had anyone ever wait for us. We always considered this late night entertainment. Please relay my gratitude to Hawk and the rest of the umpirtes for mentioning RJ's passing at your meeting. He and I always thought of our fellow umpires as a great bunch of guys and enjoyed your friendship and working with you. It gives me much comfort in knowing RJ was remembered by you guys. He would have felt honored.

Thanks again,

Bob Nebe, RJ's dad

Hang in there Bob, like was said before i cant begin to know how you feel. I was just informed tonight at work that my fellow co-worker and friend was hit by a car last night, and then tonight at 8:00 we were told that he passed. He was about the same sage as RJ. I know it's too late to say this but I would just like to say thank you RJ for everything you have done for everyone here, how you touched so many lives, and the focus and help you did for our great sport.

God bless your family Bob.

John Whitmyre