In light of the "surprising" WMD news today and the spin that was put on it, here's a version of the infamous NCLB legislation, football style.

No Child Left Behind: The Football Version

1. All teams must make the state playoffs, and all will win the championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will be on
probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable.

2. All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time and in the same conditions. No exceptions will be made for
interest in football, a desire to perform athletically, prior training, facilities or genetic abilities or disabilities...ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL

3. Talented players will be asked to work out on their own without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their
instructional time with the athletes that aren't interested in football, have limited athletic ability, or whose parents don't like football.

4. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in 4th, 8th, and 11th grades.

5. Elaborate evaluation methods are only used to further the profits of the evaluators and create stress, rather than determine areas needed for
growth.

6. This will create a New Age of sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same
minimal goals. If no child gets ahead, then no child will be left behind.

Finley?
That was awesome.

BTW, what was the 'surprising' WMD news?
haven't seen a paper or anything yet today

Yep, that's me. A concession by the Pres. that there were in fact no WMD in Iraq, but that he somehow knew of the intent if SH to build them. If he's so in tune to the thought process of Saddam, it looks like the U.S. and Mikey C. might just get their fair share of Islam, regardless of who gets elected!